If I Were A Phantom

by Song Club Sampler

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1.
Kinosaki 02:27
Don’t leave me alone out here in Kinosaki Haven’t had a friend since the operation I was maybe hoping you could wash my body And wash me down the gutter You can call me Shiga, you’re the happy water-rat You’re already skewered, I’m well on my way there Spirit of the newt was crushed beneath the boulder We can all be friends when all this is over I didn’t know that I didn’t wake up in the hospital I left alone and slept-walked up the stairs It wasn’t cold, it was draughts of moonflowers Don’t leave me alone out here in Kinosaki The spirits of the fauna are all that’s left of me I can feel my body floating away now Can I get some sleep?
2.
2010 02:06
3.
I am haunted by the Holy Ghost Brother Buchanan is sitting right there Next to me and can’t be seen When I stopped feeling anything I am same being—I am the same thing If I am the House of the Lord Don’t forget the—don’t forget floorboards Sometimes you have to go into the forest Spirit world and wooden graveyard You can’t die if you’re already dead
4.
How you gonna love me without my body? How you gonna kiss me without my mouth? How you gonna hold me in the evening? Now your loving arms must do without Don't raise your voice to tell me that you love me All I get out here are prayers and words of hope I get the sense you’re reaching out to touch me But If I can't feel it, how you gonna love me? If I can't feel you, how you gonna love me? How you gonna love me when you can’t see me? How you gonna notice that I’m here? Even when I’m close, you keep on grieving Nothing’s gonna prove that I’ve been near Don’t look for me when you get thinking of me All I get out here are tears and lonesome eyes Babe you know I hang around you, try and trust me But if you can’t see that, how you gonna love me? No if you can’t see me, how you gonna love me? How you gonna love me when you can’t hear me? How you gonna understand my love? When you needed me you used to call me Quiet on the line is not enough Don’t listen for my voice when you get lonely Sure I’m singing but you cannot hear the sound Oh I listen but you think I'm not responding But if you can’t hear it, how you gonna love me? And if you can’t see that, how you gonna love me? Oh if I can’t feel you, how you gonna love me?
5.
Ghost Girl 03:24
Will you come to me tonight? Bedside, translucent white I don’t mind if you’re haunting me, in visions, and dreams How else can I get to you, ghost girl? My spirit pearl I thought I had a hold on you, running my fingers through It’s you, the one I’ve been missing It’s true, so lonely where I’ve been Make your mind up It’s all made up Don’t you float away from me, let me see you breathing Or I can be just as dead as you, cause you kill me, but I’m willing
6.
How I loved you Now I’m on the other side Every morning, every evening Had my driveway waiting for me Ate my fast food so completely My companions loved me sweetly Now that I’m gone, I float in wonder Life, my dear, You were not so long And I’ll admit that I was So surprised to find That I was still alive kind of I guess it’s kind of complicated I am dead But I am here still, and I am wondering If you can feel my presence When I come back to Taco Bell Or listen to your podcasts still Or come to family dinners still Or think of new stories to tell I’m wondering what I’m doing here How I loved you Now I’m on the other side Every morning, every evening Had my driveway waiting for me Ate my fast food so completely My companions loved me sweetly Now that I’m gone, I float in wonder Life, my dear, You were not so long
7.
When visions come in the night, Everything is not alright. Loved ones speak from lands beyond. We are here, but they are gone. And some of you here won’t make it, Can’t bear to see no vacant spaces at my table, So if you’re able, break the chain for me.
8.
I Saw You 04:46
Everybody said to move on. But I didn’t want to be alone. Everybody said you were gone. But I knew that they were wrong. I’ve seen things I can’t explain. I saw sunshine through the rain. I saw you. I saw you in my mind. You looked just the same, baby, When you were mine. I saw you. I saw you in my dreams. I knew if you ever left, baby, You’d come back for me. You were laying in our bed. I saw the sunlight on your head. Your blue eyes looked at me, And I knew it couldn’t be. It’s been years since I lost you, So i didn’t know what to do… When I saw you. I saw you in my mind. You looked just the same, baby, When you were mine. I saw you. I saw you in my dreams. I knew if you ever left, baby, You’d come back for me. (Repeat)
9.
I step in—say hello Tap the light just so you know That I'm here and I mean no harm Think I'd like to get to know you Ask your name—where you from? Wonder why you chose this your home? What do you fear? And can you relate? If you had the chance, what would you like to say? I break the lull but I can feel you there Try my best—pretend not to care But my heart is beating for anyone to hear I turn off the light and disappear
10.
Dead Ends II 02:22
We are hiding Beings in keeping We didn't know that when we sang about the dead ends we became It steals the color from my face and from my mind It steals the color from my face and from my life We didn't know that when we sang about the dead ends we became
11.
Wind Phone 02:34
That heavy mid-day morning eyelid weight I don't care if or when I’m up Heat and spirits burden all my veins too small for blood Clamber over clothes and headache, Keys and headphones in a fist My mind settles on the expletive, Fuck all of this Is it the heat, or Is it my mind If I sit here long enough, will you appear to me? Is it my faith That makes you real If I text, or if I whisper, will you hear me? Wish I could jot you into notes.app, To stumble upon once again, Have you eaten? Are you staying warm? I miss you old friend Is it the heat, or Is it my mind If I sit here long enough, will you appear to me? Are you a ghost Can you feel what I feel? If I text, or if I whisper, will you hear me?
12.
In Between 03:55
I have a hope A hand on a rope A tiny vision Of what's to come I don't wanna know I start a war My thoughts erode I stay at home I am a ghost Where's my body I wanna feel the ground with my feet Too much To see Through If You are In between I am a ghost I am a ghost Walk the halls Go Unnoticed I don't wanna know Where's my body I wanna feel the ground with my feet Take a breath I'll be home Telephone Took too long To be with you
13.
It'll Pass 02:21
14.
Russia lost its head Everybody is dead Unholy ghosts unite In Purgatory tonight Wait at Charon's shore Lit, still smoking a cigarette Rotten fruit of loin Didn't leave me a coin For passage into hell Eternal ringing of bells Wait at Charon's shore Lit, always smoking a cigarette
15.
16.
Could this really be? You're a specter to me, and speculation makes me think you might not be gone anymore. Ain't it a laugh you just can't vocalize? If I walk through you, do you feel alive? Should I talk to you, can you read my mind? Are you just electricity caught behind my eyes? Nothing there I see, are you showing my skeptical thought process that you may not have egressed with the summer. If I walk through you, do you feel alive? Should I talk to you, can you read my mind? Ain't it a laugh you just can't vocalize?
17.
Shadow 02:06
I can hear you with me, I I can hear you with me, I I can feel you with me, I I can feel you with me, I Can you, can you feel the hair rising Can you feel the doors moving Can you, can you feel the crack of the window Can you feel the crack of the window On your shoulder Outside the dogs are howling And my bones are shivering

credits

released November 2, 2016

Cover art by James Talbot
Art Direction by Niels Christensen

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Song Club Sampler Provo, Utah

A group of pals who write monthly songs to a theme.

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