Lost Things

by Song Club Sampler

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It ended in silence Without confrontation The plans we had made hung suspended in space Don’t know how it happened But everything changed When the things you would tell me & the things that I saw stopped being the same In a year will this still feel Like such a big deal I’m too young to have intuition about life’s longer arcs I find myself second guessing Everybody’s intentions It feels like the child inside me & I have been growing apart & sometimes I wonder If I could go back Swallow my pride and talk it out face to face But there’s still a crater Inside me & others I don’t have the right to forgive you for anyone else’s pain
Keep me quiet While I mourn the loss Of my childhood bed And the stars my mom Painted over my head When I only just knew What a star even was What does a star do
I was 10 years old when I lost my ring at Nickelcade I left it on the sink to wash my hands after I played When I went back to find it, it wasn’t on the sink And I don’t know what that means
I have broken down So many times that I can’t recollect Trying to make sense Of all the thoughts and feelings I collect Drowning in the darkness and despair Drowning in the sea Cradled in the candy-colored clouds High on fantasy Bound and blind Caught under the pressure Give me time To get my thoughts together Lost in my In my mind forever I have tried to see The beauty in the things that I create But it’s like someone Has locked me outside my own garden gate Trudging through the brambles and the thorns Til I find the key Waiting for the day I figure out What the hell is wrong with me
I hold onto memories of you specifically Ones that I love the most, we’re driving down the coast You’re singing that song letting out a sleepy sideways yawn And then you turn to me quite inquisitively Your mouth just opened up–said, “are we there yet?” It didn’t really matter...just wanna grow old and grow fatter. But growing old, ain’t fun for no one. When I think about everything… Growing old is such a pain When everything that moves is growing older too There’s nothing you can do It’s happening to you And growing old ain’t fun for no one. As Queen would say, “Who wants to live forever” anyway? No, I’m ok...thanks. I’m losing youth, not losing you. To tell the truth, nothing to prove. The more time that I travel, the more memories unravel. Growing old can be fun with the right one.
D+R - Crawl 04:53
Have you any hope for stillness Is it something we forgot While the birds sing incantations And shepherds tend their flock Giving gifts and singing praises On the eve of the next year Have yourself a Merry Christmas May goodness ever keep you near Gravity is ever pleading August a relentless queen Juniper will send us spinning And land us on our knees Fireworks scream hallelujah Raining down on you and me Blessed be the ash that finds us Cooled by the unceasing breeze
the first thing i lost was the magical key the one that unlocked the magic in me i set it down outside of town the next thing i lost was the passage of time i simply forgot which era is mine i sat there alone on the majesty stone don't lose your mind the next thing i lost was the battle of kings i stood on the rock and i started to sing the old melodies down on my knees the last thing i lost was the struggle within where could i turn after where had i been? i lay my head on the wilderness bed
I hope this year I’ll find that thing I lost, that part of me that gives permission to have fun Tiny things weigh so heavily Gets me in the mood for cruel scrutiny At this moment, out the window rain and wind and feet corrode concrete (and wood) I’m consumed in all that isn’t new, Do you feel it, do you feel it too? It’s natural, that everything new gets old But unnatural that I’m stuck on what it is that’s lost is that new car smell gone?


released January 4, 2019


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Song Club Sampler

A group of pals who write monthly songs to a theme.

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